After a long couple of weeks without the internet my new flat has finally been connected to the world wide web.
I only hope I’m not too late to warn you. Dear John is a God-awful film.
It isn’t only the fact that the characters are boring clichés and Amanda Seyfried’s Savannah is so wholesome and good as to be entirely disengaging.
It’s not just that using autism as the go to disability for showing how caring someone is was tired and offensive back when it was used in Shooting Fish.
Nor is it simply that the plot feels like nothing more than a string of vaguely related events shunting the hapless John from A to B to C.
No, it’s all these things and more. Dear John is a movie that manages to be much, much worse than the sum of its terrible parts.
The Ghost is a completely different case though. The Ghost is just as average as all of it’s parts suggest.
It’s a Mystery-Thriller without many thrills and where the Mystery of whodunnit, whytheydunnit or even whatbindun, isn’t made clear until far too late.
As entertaining as listening to Ewan McGregor’s “Or Gor Blimey” cockney accent may be, the vague suspicion that something politically dubious might have happened isn’t really enough to create any tension.
There’s a couple of nice scenes but they’re turning a completely threadless screw.
That’s your lot for tonight. I’m definitely not off to look at some porn.